Change is hard whether it’s good or bad. Yet there always seems to be a specific part of us that craves change. I think anyone could point to an area in their lives where they’d like to see some growth, some shift, or some renewal. Change requires commitment, flexibility and discipline. But there’s another secret ingredient to your growth, and it’s called accountability.
I’m a firm believer that without full integration of accountability, we will miss out on our deepest capability for growth. Setting up routines, developing new habits and making shifts in our day to day are great, but without the bedrock that is accountability, you won’t see the roots of change firmly plant.
What is accountability? The root of it lies in our responsibility to ourselves and to others, and our ability to justify our actions or decisions. It means not only sticking by and being accountable to our actions when we feel they’re right, but being able to view decisions from an objective and realistic lens when they are wrong. Accountability is the driving force behind social, professional and personal growth. It allows you to take ownership of your actions while integrating necessary feedback from peers and coaches.
Let’s talk about the elements that compose an accountability practice, and how you can begin to ramp up your capacity for change.
Self-Compassion: If I had a venn diagram, self-compassion and accountability would overlap to create lasting change. One simply does not work without the other. In order to embrace accountability, we need to also hold the capacity to recognize and be gentle with our humanity. Many of us have an intensely negative view of our mistakes, using them to define the core of who we are. Self-compassion for the ways in which we want to change allows us to take accountability, but not beat ourselves up in the process.
Humility: Also known as the ability to get “right-sized”. Humility is closely linked in people’s minds with humiliation, but it couldn’t be more different. It’s taking an accurate view of our importance in decision-making and acting in a humble way. Without the ability to view ourselves as just “a worker among workers” or a “friend among friends”, it will be very difficult to access the needed flexibility and perspective for accountability. Try taking a look around today, and seeing where you can “right-size” yourself.
Honesty: Not just regular honesty - radical honesty. I want you to embody honesty in your being. Feeling anxious in a conversation? Tell the person. Struggling with your workload? Ask for clear directives. Made a mistake? Own it loud and proud. Incorporating vulnerability and radical honesty in your day to day life will open the doors to new learning opportunities and help you maintain accountability.
Reflection: In order to integrate accountability, we need to learn how to take stock of past and future actions. This could look like journaling, conversations with friends, or taking space for alone time. Hindsight’s 20/20, and the power of reflection allows us to see all our actions through a new lens.
Time Management: From a more tangible lens, accountability needs practical skills in order to thrive. Honing and understanding our ability to manage time will set us up not only to stay accountable, but also see what we can’t be accountable to. This means utilizing your ‘no’ in situations that don’t serve your best interest. Time management means you get to own your time and make decisions about how to be accountable.
Obviously, there’s more to accountability than just the five steps above, but this a good starting point to build the foundation on which your growth can begin. So what are you waiting for? Embrace the awkward, fumbling beginnings of this practice and allow yourself to thrive under the weight of your own accountability.
Alexa Cordry, LSW, LCADC
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