Authenticity has become a buzzword in recent years. You’ll see it on branding, or from life coaches, imploring you to connect to your innermost self. As corny as it seems - and the corniness is not lost on me - there’s a reason for that. The formal definition reads, “of undisputed origin; genuine”. Take a moment to take that in. At the core, you have the capability to write and live your own origin story. To become a version of you that down to your core believes in your inherent self worth and unique gifts in this world.
How do you live authentically? Clarity, awareness and vulnerability are your key ingredients. Ask yourself: where do I shine? What do I believe in? What do I want my legacy to be? Eschew the pressures that rain down on you from family expectations, the rules of professionalism, and society’s standards.
Of course, this is easier said than done. Getting to your most authentic self takes trial and error, boundaries set and then re-adjusted, intense moments of vulnerability with yourself and others. But the benefits far outweigh the challenges. Take a look at a few ways integrating authenticity into your life will set you free:
- Clarity - from what you love, and what you don’t love
Have you ever had a moment during a fight, work task, or hobby when you think, “I don’t want to do this anymore”? What if you could lean into that feeling? The pressure in society, relationships and families often trains us to think “make it work”. If you’ve ever experienced a moment of quitting, and the sweet relief that followed, you know what I’m talking about. Living authentically means not only tapping into what you love, but what you don’t love. Better than that, it gives the permission to not feel guilt over letting go. You aren’t supposed to be good at everything. What makes you shine? Identify those tasks, those relationships and those feelings, then let the rest fall away.
2. Protecting your “yes”
Robin Arzon, ultramarathon runner and author of the book ‘Shut Up and Run’, said in an interview: “I use my ‘no’ to protect my yes. It’s a ‘hell yes’ or a ‘no thanks’.” If the answer isn’t “hell yes!”, I want you to reconsider your choice. Living in your most authentic self enables you to tap into what feels good, what lights you up, and what protects your energy. As difficult as it feels, the use of your ‘no’ is going to clear up a lot of clutter both internally and externally.
3. Self Love & Self Acceptance
You know the saying, “You have to love yourself before you love anyone else”? I think it’s a pretty harsh narrative, and not always accurate. Sometimes the horse does come in front of the cart. Taking action steps to live authentically - even if you don’t feel ready - will set the stage for you to grow internally. It’s a "fake it til’ ya make it" kind of attitude. Just taking steps towards the person you want to be will start to plan the seeds of owning your true self.
4. Claiming Your Seat
The clarity that comes with living authentically will free you up and unveil what is yours to claim. When you understand what you need, what you deserve and what you have the capacity to do, it allows you to take up space in a way you couldn’t have conceived of before. What do you want to claim? Is it more space to do the things you love, or applying for the job that feels out of reach? Here’s your sign: do it.
5. Enriched Relationships
Being authentic and allowing others to truly see this authenticity will clarify the people who orbit around you. It ensures you are surrounded by the people who embody the words ‘hell yes’. You’ll experience deeper connection, find new friends along the way, and lose the people who weren’t serving you. Take a look around your circle and ask yourself, “do these people know who I am?”. Use that question to expand your ability to connect.
For those just embarking on the authenticity journey - buckle up. It means some radical shifts are coming your way. But remember, what’s supposed to stay, will stay; what’s supposed to go, will fall away.
Alexa Cordry, LSW, LCADC
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