For those on the healing journey, you know the road is deep and dirty, but full of the blinding light of truth. This work is deep, and the outcomes are typically a deeper sense of connection to yourself and to the people around you. That being said, because the work is deep and revelatory, a common myth can persist around mental health work that it has to be treacherous and heavy to always yield results.
What becomes glossed over in this thought is the absolute necessity of a mental health routine to help us through the deeper work. This tends to be forgotten because this is the work: it’s boring, repetitive, and less than revelatory. We don’t crave this kind of work in the way we crave deeper work.
So what is a mental health routine? It’s a set of daily, weekly or monthly tasks that we commit to in order to keep us on stable ground. It is the foundation on which the deeper work will grow. I often tell my clients to think of themselves as “little baby houseplants” at the beginning of our work together. Make sure you are getting all the attention care a new, temperamental houseplant would receive: food, water, attention, rest.
Let’s lay out what a few tenets of your mental health routine could look like:
- Nutrition: While the relationship between our diet and mental health is complex, and highly variable for each individual, simple milestones of good nutrition are linked to a more stable mood and higher energy. More than that, treating your body with proper fuel helps you gain a sense of self-trust and worthiness that your body deserves to be treated with kindness and attention. This means staying hydrated, watching your caffeine intake, and learning to pay attention to hunger cues in your body. The simplest changes can yield high positive outcomes for mental stability.
- Movement: I use the word movement incredibly intentionally. This will look different depending on multiple factors, including accessibility or disability. Moving our bodies - from the smallest to the biggest ways - does two things. First, it helps with emotional regulation by stimulating our central nervous system and increasing natural endorphins in our body. Second, it inspires a connection between ourselves and our bodies, as well as our bodies capability. Similar to nutrition, engaging in body movement will allow ourselves to feel more self-trust and compassion in the way our body can aid us on our healing journey.
- Social Support: We do not heal in a vacuum - we heal in community. Having a network of supportive relationships will offer a chance at co-regulation and corrective emotional experiences. This means that when we are struggling, we identify people in our lives who can respond to us the way we need to be responded to, while helping us model appropriate responses and understanding for our mental health. More than that, social support allows us to broaden our social experiences, and be challenged by alternative perspectives.
- Rest: Our culture is highly shame-based (“do X or X will happen to you”), and the “hustle” narrative that remains pervasive tells us we must be grinding towards success at all times. I’m calling the bluff on that. If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now. Allow adequate time to rest and reset. Treat your bad mental health days like sick days. Limit your activity, sleep, or do an activity that brings you joy. As counterintuitive as it sounds, when you make more time for yourself to rest, you will feel like you have more time.
We have a term in the therapeutic world where we assess if clients can function within their activities of daily living (ADLs). Consider the ADLs your foundation of a mental health routine. Identify what is necessary for you to regulate your emotions and feel safe in your day-to-day, then commit to showing up for these actions, even when they feel hard. Accountability is the last step in a mental health routine - can I count on myself to engage in some of the activities, even when it feels hard? Start to build a threshold of commitment to see these simple tasks, and you’ll be on the right footing to do the deeper work.
Alexa Cordry, LSW, LCADC
You can follow more of Alexa's insight on Instagram @yoursadtherapist
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