Sadness is a part of life. More than that, it’s a quality of life that gives reference for our joy, happiness and gratitude. We wouldn’t be human without the experience of sadness or reflecting on a point in our lives where we’ve felt it the most. That doesn’t mean that it’s universally embraced, but rather that the human condition echos sadness in all shapes, sizes, and contexts.
Depression, on the other hand, is an entity in and of itself, composed of elements of sadness, while taking a step further into the depths of sorrow. It is a common and serious mood disorder which, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, affects 21 million adults in the United States.
Common misconceptions around depression revolve around our understanding of sadness and it’s universal experience. We hear these laced into everyday conversations, with good intentions, to try and make sense of another person’s depression through our own lens of sadness.
“Everyone gets sad!”
“You have nothing to be sad about.”
“You don’t look sad!”
Sound familiar?
Plain & simple: Depression isn’t sadness.
We can quantify sadness as a state of sorrow or unhappiness, typically within the context of a situation and a direct cause. Sadness may come in waves, around different topics, but one of the key components to it’s separation from depression is that it doesn’t persist. Sadness is typically “processed out” by reaching an internal or external reconciliation strategy, having tough conversations, or using healthy emotional regulation skills. In a short while, you’ll return to emotional homeostasis and be on your way.
Depression persists. In fact, to receive a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder specific symptomatology must remain persistent every day for at least two weeks, with the two primary characteristics being a depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day and loss of pleasure in activities that once gave you joy.
Depression is physical. It’s impact on the nervous system can manifest physical symptoms, such as chronic pain or digestive issues. Fatigue is persistent during these times, as is a loss or increase of motor function. Moving or speaking so slowly that others can notice is a symptom of depression, as is an increase or decrease in appetite.
Depression is dangerous in its ability to produce feelings of worthlessness, persistent guilt and fogged concentration. Persistent passive suicidal ideation may occur, which may lead to active plans or intentions for suicide. “It would be nice if I could not wake up tomorrow” becomes commonplace at bedtime, as a slow isolation drives depression sufferers to distance themselves from family and friends.
Persistent, physical and dangerous are the keywords that separate depression from sadness. While sadness is certainly no fun, it’s a critical part of our ability to learn from our mistakes, and understand the context of our joy. Depression is a serious medical condition often requiring treatment to subside.
Read this criteria slowly, and ask yourself now the difference between depression and sadness. How can you redefine your understanding of depression to extend yourself or your loved one the much needed validation or resources needed to get help? When someone you care about is struggling, it’s often with good intentions that we make an effort to offer support, but it's better to understand the signs and symptoms in order to guide them to the right place.
The good news is: depression is treatable. Medication management and therapy services, as well as coaching or treatment centers, have found their place in the tool box against depression.
Breaking stigma around depression means understanding the marked differences from sadness and how depression presents, manifests and is treated. A fuller understanding of depression can allow you to provide understanding, support and action steps to someone in need.
If you or a loved one is having thoughts of suicide, please call the suicide hotline at 800-273-8255.
Alexa Cordry, LSW, LCADC
You can follow more of Alexa's insight on Instagram @yoursadtherapist
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